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Anonymous asked: I like this girl who is bi. I knew she had a huge crush on this guy, but I decided I'd tell her I like her anyway. She said she liked me too and that she was still in love with this guy, but it was going nowhere. Things were going awesome for a while, but then one day she posted pics on FB of her and this other guy making out to make the original guy jealous. We haven't been talking much since but I still really like her. Should I try to win her over or just give up? As a lesbian I have a general rule not to date bisexual women. Just like all general rules there are always exceptions to the rule. It’s more of a guideline than anything else. I have one reason as to why I follow this guideline as much as I can. (More like as much as my heart allows.)
The way I see it is, if she likes you too then why isn’t she trying to win you over? Why is it that you have to do all of this work and she gets to just sit there having all these probably really nice people compete for her affections. If she truly liked you too, then she wouldn’t be doing things that would hurt you (aka posting those photos on facebook) and you wouldn’t have to be trying this hard. I wouldn’t use the phrase “give up,” I would use the phrase “let go.” If she truly cares and has genuine feelings for you, she will come after you. If she doesn’t, then that just makes room for someone who will truly appreciate you for how wonderful you are. That person wouldn’t have to think twice about being with you, because being without you would be something they would regret. Also, when someone tells you they’re still in love with someone else, regardless of what they say (such as it’s going nowhere), stay away. You don’t want to be someone’s rebound or be their second choice. You always deserve to be #1. I hope I helped <3 |
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Anonymous asked: I don't know if i like guys or girls. Whenever i'm in school i never feel like i like girls. When i come home, i feel like i like girls. i'm young..but i know i still could have feelings for a girl. i think one of my friends is a little curious and all my friends talk about it and say ew if she was les i wouldnt talk to her.. so what do i do? and even thinking about having sex with a guy looking at a penis is grooss! i think girls are really hot... nobody knows i feel this way.. what do i do? I understand this struggle a lot. It’s a place that I’ve been to, with the lack of motivation and general pessimism to the world. I understand that feeling and believe me I’ve lived in that feeling longer than I ever wanted to. Confidence does help things, and it can help you to be a happier person. What people mistake for confidence really is just a change in thought. When you play off that you’re confident you’re in a sense “pretending” to like yourself. And when you walk into a room you may sorta chant in you head, “I got this, I’m great, I look awesome today, My hair looks great, I’m gonna nail this power point presentation” or what have you. But you’re sending yourself thoughts that set you up to be in a positive mindset. Challenges don’t stop arising you’re just starting from a better place and have a mentality of, “This situation is tough but I’m awesome.” And thinking those things can really help you. The good thing is though, that you have time. That you do have four years, and if in four years you do want Miami, that is totally in your grasp. I was you four years ago, I’m assuming you’re a freshman. And I let all the outside shit effect me and I stopped giving a shit in school. That is something, 6 years to this day, that I regret. I regret not just saying FUCK YOU and doing well in school for me. What doing well in school will guarantee you is an escape plan. It gives you a ticket to anywhere you want to go. You can either stay in the situation you’re in, which you aren’t happy in, or you can take life into your hands and start taking steps towards your freedom. And god, I know what I’m saying isn’t easy and it’s utterly irritating because it doesn’t make anything feel better and it may not motivate you right this second. But I hope that you trust me, and you learn from my mistakes. You will make your own but maybe I can stop you from making mine. Actively doing things for yourself and for your future will help you. I understand why you cut, I truly do, but cutting really doesn’t make anything better. It could make things so much worse for you. I know you know that and it’s something you may roll your eyes too but I am telling you the honest truth in that. Cutting doesn’t stop the pain, it merely provides a distraction from it, but the pain returns. I would ask you to try and channel your emotions, try painting, writing, or something creative that you like. If you, like me, aren’t creative look into reading and going into books that will take you millions of miles away from where you are now. That could be your release instead of self harming. Suicide isn’t the answer, never has been and never will be. If you are seriously considering killing yourself I urge you to please reach out. Look into all the wonderful organizations that are there to help you. Each and every life, including yours, has so much wonderful things to give to the world. I promise you, it will get better. You remind me so much of myself, just in this ask that you sent me. I know you may not trust me when I tell you these things but I hope some part of you does. I know your heart is hurting, and everything seems pointless or unnecessary, but your life has meaning. You will get through this and you will end up on top. You will be wherever you want to be, you hold that power. And not a single person can take that away from you. You are finding yourself in this very moment. Every single day people are continuing to find new things about themselves. Especially during the time you are in now. You’re becoming more self aware than you have been before and you’re starting to figure out who you are. Finding your individuality. You will discover your sexuality at the most perfect and right time for yourself. There is absolutely no rush. Allow yourself to have this time of confusion and this time of self discover about your sexuality. I never was attracted to any girls that went to my school all through my years. I never saw a girl and though, “DAMN GURL WHATS YO NUMBA LET ME HIT DAT SHiiT.” But outside of school you better believe that was in my head with other girls or women I saw. What it came down to for me is this, boys don’t make me tingle. And if you’re getting the tingles you’re not falling in love. Love is about caring about someone as person and wanting to have sex with them, feeling both of those things at once. At least to me that is what it is. So for me, love can’t happen with sexual attraction. And I have never been attracted to the male form. As for your friends, it is truly as simple as Dr. Suess says: “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” I know that quote is easy to say and easy in concept but when it comes to actions it is hard. But you are young and you will find the right people who will love you for exactly who you are. And maybe you have friends right now that do love you for exactly who you are and you just don’t see it yet. |
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Anonymous asked: I used to want to go there so bad...But now i don't care. There is nothing I want to do, no where i want to go. My life is full of nothing. I don't wanna keep livng, I don't wanna work hard in school, I don't wanna help my dad and brother work things ou. I don't want to reconnect with my friends,I don't want to see my high school deploma in my hands. I don't want to anything. I want my life to turn aroundI want to be useful to the world! I wanna reason to wakeup and the morning. I want to be me. |
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Anonymous asked: When you have confidence, you automatically have a better life. Every where i walk i try to hide from people so they won't judge me. I used to be smart, have a great home life, and have friends, but its all falling to pieces. Every little thing sets me off. Wether i start breaking down in tears and cutting myself, or weither i scream at people and throw things. There is nothing i can do about it. Whenever i was upset i used to tell myself "Don't worry you'll be in miami in 4 years." continued... |
Cuando una persona te toca el corazón……… olvidas todo lo demás :)
Love at first sight isn’t seeing someone and instantaneously falling madly and deeply in love with them. It doesn’t work like that. Love at first sight is seeing someone, and realizing you will fall in love with this person and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
I am sorry about grammar & spelling mistakes in my last post. I’m doing this from my phone. Next time I’m at a computer I will go back and fix it. Sorry for any confusion!
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anditwillnotstealmysubstance asked: Hi there. I came out as bi in 6th grade. 4 years later, I'm very confused. I like hooking up with guys but when it comes to penis's I can't even imagine having sex with a guy. I haven't been in a serious relationship with a girl but I know I could be. I also would have no problem being physical with her. Although I'm at a point where I don't want anything serious, I just want to know what all of this means about me. Help? Generally speaking if you don’t want to have sex with a guy that points to you being a lesbian. I’ve decided for myself to label myself as a lesbian. That identity suits me, as it does for other women. But just because that works for me it doesn’t mean it has to for you. I don’t want you to be so focused on that aspect of it. You don’t need to label yourself at any point. Just be authentic, be yourself. As far as not wanting a relationship there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and there will be plenty of other women that feel the same way. Not wanting a relationship is not a character flaw or anything like that. It is a great thing to know what you’re looking for. Your feelings and desires are totally normal (: just enjoy your life and do what you want to do. Im not sure if I answered your question, so of I haven’t please don’t hesitate to let me know that. |
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Anonymous asked: So I'm in love with my best friend. I had liked her for a longgg time and she ended up asking me if I liked her. She said she had known for a long time and had even considered being with me, but decided that she didn't like me in that way. Shortly after that, she and her bf got together, but they just recently broke up. I started really having feelings for her again and thought it might work out for us. Now she says she's going to get back with her bf and I'm just completely heartbroken all I think it is best for you to try and just move on from her. I know that you truly care about her and are in love with her but she has made it clear that she doesn’t have the same feelings for you. You deserve to be with someone who wants you and only you. You should be with someone who doesn’t have to consider being with you, but someone who knows with all their heart that they want you. Do whatever you need to, in order to move on, but bottom line is that you need to purely for your own happiness. |
